Fearless Ferret Begins
by Eagles02
Summary: Coming this Summer...Hollywood's desperate search for new movie material turns over a new rock. Please read and review.


-1I had a little extra time and I just squatted this one out. I promise you this, I was only on drugs during half of the writing process. Have some fun try to guess which half.

This is set-up as a movie preview so keep that in mind when reading it.

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Kim Possible.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fearless Ferret Begins

In a movie market with edgy comic book movies up the butt, we pack in one more. All elements of comic book movies are followed verbatim.

We have an unfortunate early life accident.

The life of Ron Stoppable seemed set living on the richly Stoppable manor. He had family, wealth, and friendship when one day it all took a comic book friendly turn for the worse. Until one day, he was running around being chased by his best friend Kim Possible.

Kim Possible: "Ron! Come back here with my pandaroo!"

Ron is running through the house and out of the house when he missteps and falls into a cave full of monkeys.

Ron: "AWWWWWWWWW! Monkeys! Monkeys everywhere! Get 'em off! Get 'em off! Why are there monkeys in a cave in the middle of Middleton? Why did we build our huge manor on a really poor foundation? AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

We have parents/guardians (let's be PC about this) being killed.

Ron and his parents come out of the backdoor of a play with Ron visibly shaken and crying.

Mrs. Stoppable: "I told you that this was going to happen!"

Mr. Stoppable: "Who thought that taking our monkey phobic son to the Broadway Musical 'Monkeys' would cause him to get scared?"

Snake Jailbird: "Whoa! You are totally being robbed!"

Mr. Stoppable: "Alright, calm down buddy. Let's take it easy. I don't have any cash on me, do you take American Express?"

Snake Jailbird: "Dude, I'm a back-ally robber! I only accept Visa."

Mr. Stoppable hands over the Visa card, "I guess it really is everywhere you want to be."

Snake swipes the card and says, "This all checks out. I'll let you go in just a minute."

At that time, two large safes fell out of the sky crushing Ron Stoppable's parents.

Snake: "Whoa, that's my cue to get out of here! Bye Bye!"

Ron: "Mom! Dad! What are the odds?"

Ron is at the hospital when Mrs. Dr. P comes out to give him the bad news, "Ron, your parents are dead!" Ron cries.

We have a lost soul stage.

Ron: "What do you mean Snake is getting out?"

Kim: "Ron, there is nothing you can do. It is the system we have. It is not perfect but it is the best we've got."

Ron: "We'll see what I can and can't do about it."

Ron watches in court as Snake is granted probation.

Snake: "All right! I'm getting away with murder! How totally awesome is that!"

Snake walks down the hallway while Ron conceals something in his sleeve and approaches him when a "BANG!" rings out and Snake is dead. The shooter speaks.

Apu: "That was payback for all the years of torment! Finally my Kwik-E-Mart is safe."

Cut to: Kim and Ron in a car after the incident.

Kim: "This town has been taken over by the mob and crime is rampant and nobody does anything. What chance does Middleton have when the good people do nothing?"

Ron: "I am not one of the good people." Ron shows that in his sleeve is a letter. Kim grabs the letter and opens it up and reads, "Dear Snake, I don't like you! Signed, Ron Stoppable…Ron how could you do such a thing?" Before Ron could respond he was slapped by Kim. Kim says, "Get out of the car! I don't know you anymore!"

Ron gets out of the car and says to himself, "I've lost my parents, alienated my closest, and filled with an unquenchable rage. That only means one thing…third world road trip!"

Cut to Ron in a dank Laotian prison…

Prisoner number 1: "What are you in for?"

Prisoner number 2: "Rape, you?"

Prisoner number 1: "Assault. Hey man, what are you in for?"

Ron: "Justice!" He punches Prisoner number 1.

Prisoner number 1: "OWWWW! That really hurt! Is that what happens when I hit somebody? Well I have to re-evaluate how I approach future conflicts in my life. Thank you sir! I owe you a great debt!"

Ron: "Not how I thought it would go down, but I'll take it."

We have a mysterious mentor.

The school lunch lady comes over to serve Ron his food. Ron: "Yes, I believe I ordered the triple cheese pizza." Lunch lady slopes down something on his plate. Ron: "Rat droppings again! I'm definitely not recommending this prison to any of my friends." Out of the darkness he hears, "Then why don't you just leave!"

Ron: "Who said that?"

"I did." Shego steps out of the shadows. "You're that Ron Stoppable."

"How did you know?"

"Oh, I didn't give you my card." Shego hands Ron Stoppable a card. "Hi, I'm the omniscient mentor that will guide you out of your troubled times. Just head to the top of Mount Everest for your training."

"Sounds like fun! I'll be there!"

Ron arrives at the mountain and looks up and says, "Awwww Man! Why couldn't I find myself at a beach in the Bahamas?"

Cut to Shego training Ron:

Shego: "Ron, it's not your fault that your parents died."

Ron: "Then who's is it?"

Shego: "I'm leaning towards the guy that held up your parents and the guy who was drunk in handling the safes. Maybe that's just me."

Ron: "I never thought of it that way. Maybe I should just move on and realize that life continues and no matter what I do that I could never change what happened during that day…Just kidding! If I came to logical conclusions, then what type of hero would I be?"

Shego: "A rational one"

Ron: "Well, we can't have that in a major motion picture. Think how crappy horror movies would be if people acted rationally."

Cut to: Ron confronting White Stripe, the head of the dojo Ron has been brought to by Shego.

White Stripe: "Hello my apprentice!"

Ron: "Wow! You smell a lot worse than a normal old person!"

White Stripe: "Never mind that, I want you to join our group 'Kriminal Killers!' We are dedicated to killing all criminals in the world and building children's hospitals in Indonesia. Do you want to join? Signify your response by killing this criminal. This sick bastard parked in a handicap space without being handicapped. Ughhhh! I can't even look at him! Do it now!"

Ron: "What! You guys kill all criminals! That's not justice! Why haven't you told me this before?"

White Stripe: "Ummmm, I thought the criminals in the bamboo cages and the room marked 'Criminal Slaughter Room' would be enough hints."

Ron: "Well, I'm not going to join!"

White Stripe: "Are you sure? We have full dental with several opportunities to travel the world plus really cool jackets with our motto on the back 'Texas eat your heart out!'"

Ron: "I can't do it!"

White Stripe: "Look we need you because our next stop is Middleton and we could use an insider to help us out."

Ron: "Why Middleton?"

White Stripe: "Middleton is a cesspool and beyond saving so it must be destroyed."

Ron: "Middleton is not beyond saving! Upperton is screwed, but Middleton is not beyond saving."

White Stripe: "Since you will not be joining our cause, you will not get the complimentary muffin basket for completing our program."

Ron: "Awwwww man! I must go back to Middleton and seek justice!"

A LEGEND IS BORN!

Cut to: Ron in a costume shop.

Ron: "Hello good costume shop owner, I am looking for a costume that says, "Stop evil-doers!"

Owner: "I have just the costume for you." He pulls out the ferret costume.

Ron: "Are you joking me? A weasel costume?"

Owner: "It's a ferret costume. The ferret may not be big or strong but it is said to be fearless."

Ron: "Hmmmm…The Fearless Ferret. Think of the licensing deals! I am so in! Pack it up my good citizen."

Owner: "Very good, sir that will be 300 dollars."

Ron pays the owner and walks out with the costume.

Owner: "Hahaha! A sucker is born every minute!"

REDEMPTION ATTAINED!

Criminal A: "Now that we have the pan-dimensional vortex inducer, they will have to accept our demands. Mwahahahahaha!"

Out of the darkness "Not so fast!" The Fearless Ferret steps into the light.

Criminal B: "Who are you? And why are you dressed like a weasel?"

Ron: "I'm a ferret! The Fearless Ferret!"

Ron attacks and easily subdues the two criminals.

Ron: "Booyah! Justice has now been ferreted out! Spread the word criminals! Justice has a new name…The Fearless Ferret!"

BAD GUYS FEAR HIM!

Weeping Criminal talking into a phone: "I don't know what it was all I know is that this weasel man came out of nowhere and destroyed the whole gang! It was horrible!"

Ron: "I'm a ferret! Not weasel!"

GOOD GUYS LOVE HIM!

Officer into his radio: "Sir, I thought I was a goner and then I was saved! He was some sort of a man…some sort of a Weasel Man!"

Ron: "It's called a ferret!"

THIS…SUMMER…EVIL…WILL…FIND…NO…SAFE…HOLES…TO…CRAWL…INTO

Shego: "What's up with the ferret get up?"

Ron: "Wow, you knew I was a ferret! You'd be surprised how tough it is for people to get that."

Shego: "We've got you surrounded!"

Ron: "Yes, when can I expect your surrender?"

Shego: "You didn't think we'd let you go that easily do you?"

Ron: "For a second there, yeah I kind of did."

Fearless Ferret Begins

Opening Never! Thank God!


End file.
